Je suis une torpille-pille-pille

Biopics are a big seller these days and its no different in France, especially after the captivating La Vie en Rose got an Oscar for its star, the equally mesmerizing Marion Cotillard. One would hope (with good reason) that Coco avant Chanel would be as meaningful, since it centers on the greatest fashion icon the world has known and stars Audrey Tautou, the darling of the French silverscreen, in a role outside her usual range (Cotillard was also in new territory when she portrayed La Môme). Unfortunately, I doubt this flick will have the same resounding impact.

The title says it: Its Coco before Chanel. Therefore, the film focuses on the years leading up to Gabrielle 'Coco' Chanel (Tautou) becoming a household name. Dropped off unceremoniously at the age of 9 at an orphanage with her sister by their destitute father, Coco goes through life with one lasting goal: to be rich and successful, and consequently independent. One night at the obscure cabaret where she and her sister perform their singing act brings her in the company of Étienne Balsan (Benoît Poelvoorde) a millionnaire playboy. And so begins one of the most important relationships of her life. As his mistress, Coco enjoys the comfort of wealth but also develops an interest in fashion, preferring simplicity and masculine lines to the popular corsets and extravagant dresses of the time. Through Balsan, she will also meet Arthur 'Boy' Capel (Alessandro Nivola), her first real love...

To describe this flick, the first word that comes to mind is 'standard'. The storyline is your basic girl-tries-to-lift-herself-from-obscurity-then-falls-in-love-and-suffers-various-tragedies and does certainly not revolutionize the genre. As the story ends with Coco Chanel's first fashion show, we feel that the movie cuts short, just when it's about to get really interesting. Incidentally, the most shocking and noteworthy events in Chanel's life occured after she made the big time. But as the title states, this is a story of how she came to be this great icon. However, I'm not quite sure why writer and director Anne Fontaine opted to explore mainly her relationships with men. Surely, one cannot deny the impact they had on her creative style, but it really feels as if fashion took a backseat on this ride. Only occasionnaly do we see how Coco was influenced and how gradually she established her own fashion ideas. If you ask me, if you are doing a movie about Coco Chanel, you're gonna want to explore how and why she become so iconic and not how she loved (or not loved) and lost.

The movie's redeeming quality? Its star. Audrey Tautou really stepped outside her comfort zone and embodied a cynic, layered and often melancholy woman. Folks, we are miiiiiiles away from Amélie Poulain. She is entirely convincing (without needing a complete makeover, no less!) as Coco and gives a frank and powerful performance. Her looks and manners convey half the dialogue of this piece. In the final scene, looking every bit like the Coco Chanel known worldwide and dressed in one of her famous tailleurs, Ms. Tautou is the epitomy of poise and dignity. The impression that she is actually channeling the designer is enough to send shivers down your back.

On the subject of Audrey Tautou, thank god she decided to be an actress because if she choose singing as a profession, her performance of 'Coco à Trocadéro' clearly indicates that she would have remained in total obscurity!

Pot is not drugs. Its a flower.

Internet, I'm a big fan of Mike Judge's humor. And my answer is always a huge resounding YES to Jason Bateman. Add Mila Kunis and J.K Simmons, an actress on a comedic rise and a veteran who you can always rely on for laughs, to the mix and you'd think you would get something that would make you want to lick the bowl. You'd think...

Extract tells the story of Joel (Bateman), the owner of a factory that produces various extracts, and the growing chaos that surrounds his life. While stuck in a ho-hum routine at work and surrounded by dimwitted employees, he must deal with a frigid, jogging-pants-wearing wife (Kristen Wiig) and one hell of an annoying neighbor (David Koechner, or I've-seen-this-guy-before-but-where?) back home. However, the degree of shitiness hits a new high for Joel when one of his employee loses a testicule in a freak work accident. Half Eunuch (Clifton Collins Jr.) is pushed into suing the company by a beautiful con artist (Kunis) posing as a new temp at the factory, who Joel incidentaly wants to nail. But how could Joel, always-do-the-right-thing Joel manage to do this without feeling guilty? By hiring a gigolo (the suprisingly effective Dustin Milligan) to have an affair with his wife, of course! Now add a shaggy-haired, drug-pushing best friend (Ben Affleck) to the plot and....are you still following me?

You gotta feel for Mike Judge. This guy gave us Office Space, an instant cult classic, in 1999. 10 years later, he has still not managed to achieve that kind of success again. Until now? Not exactly, but it certainly was a good effort. It certainly doesn't do any good that one can't help comparing it to Office Space. For example, its easy to associate Nathan, Koechner's insipid bore of a neighbor, to Office Space's oddball Milton. Since Nathan gets about the same amount of respect than Milton, you'd expect for him to have a similarly hilarious meltdown. The end result is sadly predictable and falls flat. This is one of many instances where the writing, though funny, was lacking a bit of zinger, or biting wit or whatever you want to call it. Also, Gene Simmons' turn as the lawyer was way too short.

The kicker in all this? Dustin Milligan can act. Who knew?..Unless being stupid and douchey comes...nope, this one is just waaaaay too easy...