OPTIMUUUUUSSSS!!!!

Internet, some people are born with undeniable talent. The Rolling Stones, Picasso, Charlie Chaplin, Paris Hilton (not in acting, but for being utterly and persistently irrelevant), etc...For Michael Bay, it's for blowing stuff up. Whether its a bridge, a library or a doghouse, the man can seriously pulverise with style. Sadly, it doesn't stop Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen from being a piece of crap.

In a nutshell (because there isn't enough depth of plot to fill more than a nutshell), our hero Sam (Shia Laboeuf) is college-bound and still with his vixen of a girlfriend, Mikaela (Megan Fox). As for Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots, they are now part of a secret task force called NEST (...seriously?) runned by the U.S. government. Along with a few familiar faces (Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson), they track down and destroy (stuff blowing up!) the remaining Decepticons on Earth. But trouble is brewing when an archaic foe named Fallen (or Grandpa Decepticon?) resurects Megatron and goes looking for some machine that (what else?) could DESTROY THE WORLD! Therefore, Sam and Optimus' paths cross again and, you guessed it, stuff blowing up ensues.

The good sides of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen : the non-stop action that, combined with the state of the art CGI, blows you away (I dare you to not feel a little giddy when that huge Decepticon-on-a-wheel destroys a Shanghai highway!), Megan Fox (whether you're a guy or a girl, you just want to look at her), the Egyptian scenery when its not being blown up, the addition of a sidekick (the amusing Ramon Rodriguez), and (duh!) the Transformers...well most of them. Oh, and Isabel Lucas' tongue.

The bad sides of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: the black-hole size plot holes, the silly humour (enjoyable in the first movie, but now cranked up to a level of stupidity that makes you slide down your seat in despair), the humping mini-Decepticon (WHAT THE HELL!!!), the new and overly stereotyped Autobots (Grandpa Autobot and...is it me or did the Twins sound black?), the (guh!) 'its your destiny' moments and the use (and serious abuse) of slow-motion. Careful, Michael Bay! You're a couple of doves away from transforming (ha!) into John Woo. And John Turturro. Dude, you're embarrassing yourself!

But in the end, no matter how brainless they can get, Michael Bay movies are like smelly cheese: either you love them or you hate them. As for me, well, I'm a sucker for stuff that blows up!