'Quit being a pussy' + 'You do know what you are drinking is meant for eye surgery'

Hello Internet! Have you missed me? Probably not, so I don't have to feel guilty about my lack of motivation. The holidays have brought me something (other than general cheeriness and a constant state of fullness) that I have seldom have these last few months and that I find very necessary for keeping up this blog: time. And so, to excuse my absent behavior, I present an offering: a double-header.

First on the list, Marc Webb's (500) Days of Summer. In a nutshell: your typical indie-romance-hero, the adorable and quietly quirky late 20s guy, meets your typical indie-romance-fair lady, a distinctive beauty, assertive and who's got life figured out, or so she thinks. Subtle and artistic displays of emotions ensue, set to the music of the usual suspects, in this case The Smiths, Carla Bruni and Feist, to name a few.

This movie could be the poster child for indie romance flicks. Therefore, one cannot help feeling that one has seen this movie already, over and over again. However, I have to point out that in this case, casting had a stroke of genius with its choice of Joseph Gordon-Levitt for the lead. This actor's whole performance is based on genuine understanding of the character he's playing, as if he personnally knew that guy and was simply channeling him. As for Zooey Deschanel, well, she fulfilled every requirements of the genre...period.

All in all, enjoyable for its original storytelling and uncharacteristic ending, which still reeks of indie. Props must be given to the wise character of the piece, who in the case is the prepubescent sister of the hero...clever.

Next in the spotlight: the much anticipated Sherlock Holmes

The build-up for Guy Ritchie's flick was huge. The bar was set high. And Sherlock Holmes almost meets the general expectaction. Almost.

The legendary detective and is sidekick, Dr. Watson, are on the case when a renegade lord who dabbles in the black arts refuses to stay dead and threatens to TAKE OVER THE WORLD, i.e. England and the colony in north america they just lost (really?). On top of that, Holmes must lean to cope with the imminent loss of his BFF to matrimony.

Over the years, Ritchie has developped his own sub-genre. I'm happy to say that it fits on the story of Sherlock Holmes like a glove. Ritchie succeeds in creating a universe that's Victorian-ly glum with a hint of danger constantly lurking in the shadows. Props go to Hans Zimmer for the music, reminiscent to some of his previous work, the Pirates of the Carribean soundtrack.

SH's major flaw? The dishvelled plot. Truly, it takes more than one viewing to catch all the essential elements of the story scattered here and there. Also, one can appreciate the great chemistry between Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law, but when it bests the ones each have with their respective love interest (Rachel McAdams and Kelly Reilly)...well, it isn't so farfetched now to think that Holmes and Watson's bromance is a little more than that.

But the action/adventure movie fan in me can't help but shout 'Oh shut up, this movie was fun from A to Z!!!' And it was. So I'm gonna listen and shut up!

Je suis une torpille-pille-pille

Biopics are a big seller these days and its no different in France, especially after the captivating La Vie en Rose got an Oscar for its star, the equally mesmerizing Marion Cotillard. One would hope (with good reason) that Coco avant Chanel would be as meaningful, since it centers on the greatest fashion icon the world has known and stars Audrey Tautou, the darling of the French silverscreen, in a role outside her usual range (Cotillard was also in new territory when she portrayed La Môme). Unfortunately, I doubt this flick will have the same resounding impact.

The title says it: Its Coco before Chanel. Therefore, the film focuses on the years leading up to Gabrielle 'Coco' Chanel (Tautou) becoming a household name. Dropped off unceremoniously at the age of 9 at an orphanage with her sister by their destitute father, Coco goes through life with one lasting goal: to be rich and successful, and consequently independent. One night at the obscure cabaret where she and her sister perform their singing act brings her in the company of Étienne Balsan (Benoît Poelvoorde) a millionnaire playboy. And so begins one of the most important relationships of her life. As his mistress, Coco enjoys the comfort of wealth but also develops an interest in fashion, preferring simplicity and masculine lines to the popular corsets and extravagant dresses of the time. Through Balsan, she will also meet Arthur 'Boy' Capel (Alessandro Nivola), her first real love...

To describe this flick, the first word that comes to mind is 'standard'. The storyline is your basic girl-tries-to-lift-herself-from-obscurity-then-falls-in-love-and-suffers-various-tragedies and does certainly not revolutionize the genre. As the story ends with Coco Chanel's first fashion show, we feel that the movie cuts short, just when it's about to get really interesting. Incidentally, the most shocking and noteworthy events in Chanel's life occured after she made the big time. But as the title states, this is a story of how she came to be this great icon. However, I'm not quite sure why writer and director Anne Fontaine opted to explore mainly her relationships with men. Surely, one cannot deny the impact they had on her creative style, but it really feels as if fashion took a backseat on this ride. Only occasionnaly do we see how Coco was influenced and how gradually she established her own fashion ideas. If you ask me, if you are doing a movie about Coco Chanel, you're gonna want to explore how and why she become so iconic and not how she loved (or not loved) and lost.

The movie's redeeming quality? Its star. Audrey Tautou really stepped outside her comfort zone and embodied a cynic, layered and often melancholy woman. Folks, we are miiiiiiles away from Amélie Poulain. She is entirely convincing (without needing a complete makeover, no less!) as Coco and gives a frank and powerful performance. Her looks and manners convey half the dialogue of this piece. In the final scene, looking every bit like the Coco Chanel known worldwide and dressed in one of her famous tailleurs, Ms. Tautou is the epitomy of poise and dignity. The impression that she is actually channeling the designer is enough to send shivers down your back.

On the subject of Audrey Tautou, thank god she decided to be an actress because if she choose singing as a profession, her performance of 'Coco à Trocadéro' clearly indicates that she would have remained in total obscurity!

Pot is not drugs. Its a flower.

Internet, I'm a big fan of Mike Judge's humor. And my answer is always a huge resounding YES to Jason Bateman. Add Mila Kunis and J.K Simmons, an actress on a comedic rise and a veteran who you can always rely on for laughs, to the mix and you'd think you would get something that would make you want to lick the bowl. You'd think...

Extract tells the story of Joel (Bateman), the owner of a factory that produces various extracts, and the growing chaos that surrounds his life. While stuck in a ho-hum routine at work and surrounded by dimwitted employees, he must deal with a frigid, jogging-pants-wearing wife (Kristen Wiig) and one hell of an annoying neighbor (David Koechner, or I've-seen-this-guy-before-but-where?) back home. However, the degree of shitiness hits a new high for Joel when one of his employee loses a testicule in a freak work accident. Half Eunuch (Clifton Collins Jr.) is pushed into suing the company by a beautiful con artist (Kunis) posing as a new temp at the factory, who Joel incidentaly wants to nail. But how could Joel, always-do-the-right-thing Joel manage to do this without feeling guilty? By hiring a gigolo (the suprisingly effective Dustin Milligan) to have an affair with his wife, of course! Now add a shaggy-haired, drug-pushing best friend (Ben Affleck) to the plot and....are you still following me?

You gotta feel for Mike Judge. This guy gave us Office Space, an instant cult classic, in 1999. 10 years later, he has still not managed to achieve that kind of success again. Until now? Not exactly, but it certainly was a good effort. It certainly doesn't do any good that one can't help comparing it to Office Space. For example, its easy to associate Nathan, Koechner's insipid bore of a neighbor, to Office Space's oddball Milton. Since Nathan gets about the same amount of respect than Milton, you'd expect for him to have a similarly hilarious meltdown. The end result is sadly predictable and falls flat. This is one of many instances where the writing, though funny, was lacking a bit of zinger, or biting wit or whatever you want to call it. Also, Gene Simmons' turn as the lawyer was way too short.

The kicker in all this? Dustin Milligan can act. Who knew?..Unless being stupid and douchey comes...nope, this one is just waaaaay too easy...

SHUSH!

Internet, moving is a real bitch. But the upside is living with someone with a whole set of new movies you haven't seen yet! Enter Encino Man, a Les Mayfield 1992 movie that was lying around in our new trendy living room. After seeing it, it has now been kicked under the couch, never to emerge unless it it to be dropped from our third floor balcony. Seriously!

Encino Man is about two high school buddies (Sean Astin and Pauly Shore) on the verge of graduating and desperate for one last chance at popularity. While digging in his backyard to make a pool (which of course, will then make him uber popular), Dave (Astin) accidentally uncovers a frozen caveman (Brendan Fraser in George of the Jungle mode). In an expected but still very odd turn of events, Caveman becomes the cool kid in school and helps Dave and Stoney achieve all their adolescent dreams.

I'm not gonna beat around the bush here.WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS CRAP! Both main characters are absolute losers (see Dave's tactic in trying to convince the girl of his dreams that they belong together by showing her naked baby pics of them) to the point where you don't really care if they evolve, succeed or simply get run over by Stoney's ugly scooter. Brendan Fraser, who looks less like a caveman than a hippie who went down the mud slope at Woodstock, basically jumps around, makes faces and eats dog food...clearly not his best work. And of course, there has to be the Big Bad Jock who has it in for Dave, but in this case, he looks like a cheap version of Vanilla Ice (however, it was 1992...) and his best diabolical plan is to expose to everyone at prom that Dave's hip buddy is a prehistoric caveman...yeah boy, you won't look like a total douchebag when that comes out of your mouth!

Coming from Les Mayfield (Flubber, Code Name: The Cleaner), you can't really expect something digestible, but Encino Man is simply craptacular. And NOT the so-bad-its-now-a-cult-movie craptacular. The BAD kind of craptacular.

I wish to end this note with a message to Pauly Shore: HOW DID YOU EVER MANAGE TO HAVE A CAREER??? Watching the likes of you in this movie made me decide to throw a monster party the day you will retire. Please make my day and tell me I can go buy the balloons RIGHT NOW!

There's no doubt, Encino Man belongs with the mothballs under my couch.

Guh!

I know what you are thinking, Internet. «Oh FC, why the hell do you keep watching these bound-to-be craptacular, cookie-cutter romantic comedies?» Because I am an optimist, that's why. Everytime I purchase my movie ticket, I can't help but think «This time, it's gonna be different. This time, I won't feel like eating the seat in front of me out of sheer boredom because THIS ONE is going to think outside the box». At least, that's what I though right before seeing The Ugly Truth. Ha! Ha Ha Ha HA HA HA......oy. Seriously, my patience with this genre is dwindling.

When the morning news show she produces at a local Sacramento TV station is faced with poor ratings, neurotic tight-ass Abby (Katherine Heigl) is forced to put up with a new provocating (and ratings-raising) segment on the show called The Ugly Truth, and its presenter, the rude and crude Mike (Gerard Butler). Sparks flies as these two opposites verbally spar as they try to cohabite in the same working environment and, you guessed it, eventually fall for each other. WHAT ELSE IS NEW???

Once again, my (destroyed) hopes were not unfounded for this romantic comedy. Helmed by Robert Luketic, director of the fresh and entertaining Legally Blonde, this flick stars Heigl, an actress capable of being foxy while simultaneously making a fool of herself, and Butler, whose mix of baby blue eyes and scruffiness fits right into the genre. However, even Heigl and Butler re-enacting the whole dance sequence at the end of Slumdog Millionaire wouldn't be able to save a flick like this one, aka a flick plagued with a poor excuse of a script

Let me get this straight: She's the mother of all control freaks whose idea of the perfect man is basically the hero of a Harlequin romance. He's at the emotional level of a caveman and this close to being slapped with a sexual harassment suit (but wait, he does care very much for his nephew, who shows up conveniently during the movie. Aaaawe). Throughout the story, they both remain the same, yet at the beginning, they can't stand each other and 1h37 min. later, they're completely in love. Riiight! Maybe that would be believable if there was ANY KIND OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, but no. Apparently, all it took was some bad salsa dancing (on a side note, the producer who insisted on putting that scene in the movie should be fired).

(Warning: incoming obvious play on the title). Here's the ugly truth about this movie: there were a few decent comedy bits. Sadly, this is a typical case of all-the-best-parts-are-in-the-trailer. And Gerald Butler might be hot enough for romantic comedies, but watching him in this was almost akward. Let the man get back to his guns, or at least his scottish accent.

By the way, you know you've made it in Hollywood when your 30 second appearance in the movie is worth the «and Kevin Connolly» type of billing. Congrats, E!

Excuse me, I have to go vomit

First off, I must declare myself a moderate Harry Potter fan. Meaning I read all the books a long time ago, liked most of them, but barely remember what happened in them. Meaning that while watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the following happened on more than one occasion: 'Wait a sec, he died/was captured/is going out with her? Since when? What?' However, this did not stop me one bit from enjoying what I can honestly say is the best Harry Potter installment yet.

Detailing the story of the famous boy wizard would be utterly pointless at this time since everybody and their pet fish knows the tale by J.K. Rowling. Instead, here are the newest plot points brought on by The Half-Blood Prince: Baddie Voldemort and his dark minions are no longer in hiding and having a ball spreading rampage wherever they go, Harry is enlisted by Dumbledore to help him in a mysterious quest linked to Tom Riddle aka Prebuscent Voldemort and new Potions Prof Horace Slughorn, Draco Malfoy is given a dark side-project and Harry, Ron, Hermione and Co.'s teenage hormones kick into high gear. In a nutshell.

What makes the sixth Harry Potter so superior to the previous five? For my part, I believe it is because of its focus on characters rather than the plot. For once, the protagonists feel more like average teenagers than heroes and villains. From one of the earliest scenes where Harry is being flirted with by a muggle waitress in a diner, you can feel that this one is going to be different. The boys say stupid things, the girls are obsessed with love potions. Tempers flare, hearts are broken...sound familiar? And perhaps that is exactly why this time, it is so easy to relate to the principal players. They are not simply trying to vanquish evil anymore. They are battling dark forces AND growing up at the same time. Most of us already experienced at least one of those things.

Therefore, props must go to Steve Kloves for his clever and well structured script (*braces self for attack of legion of Potter fans enraged with the absence of extensive parts of the book*) that allows character growth without sacrificing the plot. Props also go to cinematographer Bruno Delbonnel for his lively, yet intimate camera work. Finally, a previous statement made after viewing the horribly dull Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix must be retracted: David Yates, your approach to the Potter series no longer makes me want to projectile vomit. In fact, you are brilliant. Saying that this is an impressive turnaround is an understatement.

Its nice to see the young players finally have the chance, after almost a decade in the same characters' shoes, to stretch their acting skills (Yay Steve Kloves and David Yates!). Some really went further than their usual interpretations, notably Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson (kind of) and especially Tom Felton. Some others *cough Bonnie Wright cough* did not. As always, the veterans (Maggie Smith, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, Julie Walters, etc.) are up to their usual standard. An extra thumbs up goes to the wonderful Jim Broadbent, newcomer to the series, and the delightfully excentric Helena Bonham-Carter. Keep an eye out for young Mr. Frank Dillane. His turn as the creepy and calculating Tom Riddle is dead on. Kid is gonna be a star, mark my words!

Finally, for those of you who remember seeing the very first Potter movie in theaters, I dare you not to feel reaaally old when you notice how these darn kids have grown! Ugh!

Pinte de lait, c'est 3 mots. 1, 2, 3!

Il existe des films qui, sur papier, donne le goût aux gens de sautiller sur place en tapant des mains, tellement il promet de satisfaire. Par exemple, De père en flic, le quatrième film en carrière du réalisateur Émile Gaudreault (Mambo Italiano), qui met en vedette deux titans du cinéma québécois, Michel Côté et Rémy Girard, et qui marque les débuts au grand écran du darling de l'humour, Louis-José Houde. Un film qui, de par son genre, ne peut que rappeler un autre opus québécois qui, il n'y a pas si longtemps, a fracassé tous les records au box-office canadien. Déjà sur papier, la barre est haute...

Jacques Laroche (Côté) est une légende dans le milieu policier. Son fils Marc (Houde), aussi policier, est loin de l'être. Le père est un dur autoritaire et fendant alors que le fils 'manque de viande' et est trèèèès expressif. Ensemble, ils forment un tandem qui crée des flamèches, pour ne pas dire qui met le feu au cul. Et c'est bien malgré eux qu'ils sont jumelés pour partir en mission undercover dans une retraite ou les pères et fils aliénés vont pour resserer leurs liens. Objectif? Convaincre un autre dur, Maître Charles Bérubé, qui tente de reconnecter avec son fils qui le déteste, de livrer son client, Mononc Tardif, chef des Blood Machines, aux autorités.

Après Nuit de Noces et Mambo Italiano, Émile Gaudreault n'est plus un néophyte de la comédie. On peut même s'attendre à un scénario et une mise en scène punchés, bien rythmés, surtout si la comparaison à Bon Cop Bad Cop, un film qui a suivi la bonne recette, sera inévitable. Cependant, De père en flic tombe quelque peu à plat. Les gags ne décollent jamais véritablement. Le film ne nous laisse aucune bonne scène qui pourrait faire l'objet d'une conversation du genre 'Te souviens-tu du boutte quand...?'

Heureusement, Gaudreault s'est entouré d'une distribution qui sait tirer le maximum de son texte. À ce point-ci, il n'est plus nécessaire de louanger Michel Côté, hilarant dans son obstination à demeurer le mâle dominant, et Rémy Girard, qui joue si bien le paranoïaque délirant. Nous devons aussi saluer les interprétations de Caroline Dhavernas, Robin Aubert et Patrick Drolet qui, malgré leurs rôles (ex-blonde qui attend d'être reconquérie, psy zen et fils qui ne vit que pour en vouloir à son père), savent déjouer les stéréotypes.

Enfin, mon cher Louis-José, c'est difficile à dire si c'est à cause de tes commentaires farfelus, ton sens impeccable du timing ou bien simplement ta bouille sympathique, mais on veut que tu réussisse. Vraiment! Et ton potentiel d'acteur est plus que palpable, mais en sortant du cinéma, on a vraiment le goût de te demander: as-tu déjà pensé à des cours d'acting?

Pour les fans des Habs, on ressent un petit pincement au coeur quand les hommes à la retraite parlent de leurs joueurs préférés: Bégin, Kostopoulos, Koivu, Tremblay, Kovalev...*soupir*

I learned that from daytime tv!

That's how devoted I am, Internet. Yours truly just sat through Dragonball : Evolution SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TOO. Get the hint?

Based on Akira Toriyama's monstruously popular anime series, this flick tells the story of Goku (Justin Chatwin) a 'special' young man/warrior apprentice on a mission to find the seven mystical dragonballs, which grant its owner one perfect wish, before the lord/alien/creature from the black lagoon Piccolo, imprisoned for 2000 years, finds them and...does something really bad. Basically, he's pissed and its up to Goku and company to stop him from taking it out on humanity.

Here's the deal: if you never got into the 'Dragonball' series, you will feel like you wasted 1 hour and 20 minutes of your life. If you are a fan of the 'Dragonball' series, you will also feel like you wasted 1 hour and 20 minutes of your life. However, the level of frustration will be much higher. Very little remains of the original anime. Goku is no longer a happy-go-lucky/ completely clueless kid with a monkey tail, he's an outcast teenager longing to be cool and pining over queen bee Chi Chi (don't even get me started on her. No giant father? come! on!). Master Roshi is not a dirty old man and Bulma's hair is black. What the hell??

The movie was clearly shot in front of a couple of bluescreens in a deserted warehouse and is all kinds of mediocre, from the script (which includes classic lines such as 'Ow, my balls!') to the fighthing to the actors' performances. One might say that Justin Chatwin's hair did most of the acting in this piece, even though the film wasn't short in viable actors (Emmy Rossum, Chow-Yun Fat). But the person I feel most sorry for was James Marsters, who had to endure who knows how many hours every day in the makeup chair to deliver such a boring performance. Considering Piccolo's high degree of badass-ness in the anime series, this was truly a disappointment.

In the end, the biggest crime of all was that Dragonball: Evolution takes itself (gasp!) seriously. The humour which made Toriyama's stories so entertaining and distinctive is almost entirely gone. In its place, we are left with a (god helps us!) quest of self-discovery which culminates in a 'its your destiny' moment (you can here recycle your urge to vomit from Transformers 2) and ends with getting the girl. Oh! And just when its about to get interesting, as in when the newly formed couple of Goku and Chi Chi take their debate of who is going to wear the pants into the arena, cut to credits.

James Wong, the question is begging to be asked : when you think of how you, an asian man, cast a 100 % caucasian man to play one of the biggest japanese anime icon, does the word 'irony' pop into your mind? Cause it freaking does in mine!!! Also, how the hell does a laser gun run out of ammunition? Oh! And why, WHY would someone stuck under huge boulders during a deadly fight with an alien lord suddenly feel the urge TO CHANGE HIS OUTFIT???

Maybe all these burning questions will be answered in the sequel, Goku Goes to College. Can't wait. Just. Can't. Wait.

I am your queen and I order you to stay in this room!!

I have a confession to make: I am a die-hard fan of corset flicks. Give me bonnets, horse riding, quadrilles and dialogues full of 'indeed's, 'petticoat's and 'upon my honor!'s, and I am happy as a Victorian clam! However, you can imagine that watching Pride and Prejudice for the 134th time doesn't bring as much as excitment as before. That's why I was so happy to get this week's dose of corsets from something entirely new: Jean-Marc Vallée's The Young Victoria.

This period film depicts the first eventful years of Queen Victoria (Emily Blunt)'s rule, from the young princess' ascension to the throne at 18 years old and her emancipation from her mother (Miranda Richardson) and her advisor/vilain of this piece, Sir John Conroy (Mark Strong) to her blatant favoritism of Prime Minister Lord Melbourne (Paul Bettany) and, of course, her love story with her future husband, Prince Albert (Rupert Friend).

Based on a somewhat static script by Vanity Fair and Gosford Park scribe Julian Fellowes, Québec's very own Jean-Marc Vallée delivers a piece that mirror its principal characters : restrained, but dignified. Victoria is clever, playful and outspoken and the moments she shares with Albert are especially authentic and filled with subdued passion, but on the whole, the movie feels a tad impersonal. Are we suppose to believe that all of these people were really that stuck up in private? No one hardly raises their voice or makes a sudden gesture, except for King William who throws a spectacularly embarrasing fit at Victoria's mother, but he's senile, so he doesn't count! But then again, contained emotions are a trademark of this kind of flick, though it does not excuse Vallée for not trying to make the supporting characters more relatable.

Environment-wise, The Young Victoria is filled with the stuff wannabe princesses dream about : exquisite and detailed costumes, grand palaces and gardens, fashionably ancient hairstyles, etc. As for the players, they all drip with aristocratic charm. Emily Blunt is an absolute star as the young woman working her way through Ruling an Empire 101 AND falling in love for the first time. Far from being cold and regal, Ms. Blunt's performance is engaging and will make anyone who's ever longed for the freedom of adulthood cheer for her. Rupert Friend's performance is above all genuine. Prince Albert is a mix of down-to-earth and class, but Friend's looks and manners, though always even, are consistently honest and speak as loud, if not louder, than the dialogue. As for the supporting players, the flick is packed with british star power (Richardson, Strong, Bettany, Harriet Walter, Jim Broadbent) but the intrigue doesn't allow them to really stretch their acting skills. This is clearly the Victoria-and-Albert show, no matter how hard they try to convince us otherwise. But Emily Blunt and Rupert Friend run it with such grace and charm, we can let it slide.

In the end, a good fix for any petticoat junkie, even though a wikipedia search will clearly show that Victoria and Albert weren't that pretty in real life. But seriously, who needs reality?

OPTIMUUUUUSSSS!!!!

Internet, some people are born with undeniable talent. The Rolling Stones, Picasso, Charlie Chaplin, Paris Hilton (not in acting, but for being utterly and persistently irrelevant), etc...For Michael Bay, it's for blowing stuff up. Whether its a bridge, a library or a doghouse, the man can seriously pulverise with style. Sadly, it doesn't stop Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen from being a piece of crap.

In a nutshell (because there isn't enough depth of plot to fill more than a nutshell), our hero Sam (Shia Laboeuf) is college-bound and still with his vixen of a girlfriend, Mikaela (Megan Fox). As for Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots, they are now part of a secret task force called NEST (...seriously?) runned by the U.S. government. Along with a few familiar faces (Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson), they track down and destroy (stuff blowing up!) the remaining Decepticons on Earth. But trouble is brewing when an archaic foe named Fallen (or Grandpa Decepticon?) resurects Megatron and goes looking for some machine that (what else?) could DESTROY THE WORLD! Therefore, Sam and Optimus' paths cross again and, you guessed it, stuff blowing up ensues.

The good sides of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen : the non-stop action that, combined with the state of the art CGI, blows you away (I dare you to not feel a little giddy when that huge Decepticon-on-a-wheel destroys a Shanghai highway!), Megan Fox (whether you're a guy or a girl, you just want to look at her), the Egyptian scenery when its not being blown up, the addition of a sidekick (the amusing Ramon Rodriguez), and (duh!) the Transformers...well most of them. Oh, and Isabel Lucas' tongue.

The bad sides of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: the black-hole size plot holes, the silly humour (enjoyable in the first movie, but now cranked up to a level of stupidity that makes you slide down your seat in despair), the humping mini-Decepticon (WHAT THE HELL!!!), the new and overly stereotyped Autobots (Grandpa Autobot and...is it me or did the Twins sound black?), the (guh!) 'its your destiny' moments and the use (and serious abuse) of slow-motion. Careful, Michael Bay! You're a couple of doves away from transforming (ha!) into John Woo. And John Turturro. Dude, you're embarrassing yourself!

But in the end, no matter how brainless they can get, Michael Bay movies are like smelly cheese: either you love them or you hate them. As for me, well, I'm a sucker for stuff that blows up!

Congratulations. I'm a 100 years old.

In this day and age, after decades of being fed the same oh-so-predictable romantic comedy storyline in various shapes and colours, is it silly and naive to keep hoping to find something different and fresh when the lastest installment of this genre makes its way to the theater? According to recividist Anne Fletcher's The Proposal, yes. Yes, it is very silly and naive.

Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock) is your typical fierce, career-oriented woman and a star editor in New York. She also happens to be the Bitch Boss from Hell, especially according to Andrew (Ryan Reynolds), her long-suffering assistant who dreams of making the big times as an editor himself. When Margaret is faced with deportation to Canada due to an expired visa, she makes a deal with Andrew: marry me and i'll make you an editor. Hilarity with a side of side-glances increasingly filled with longing ensue as the odd couple fly off to Alaska to break the news to Andrew's family.

Initial relationship based on mutual annoyance that magically transforms into true love? Check. Crazy-but-still-kinda-adorable relatives? Check. Poor excuse of a romantic foil? Ugh. Check. Recurring gag involving a pet? Sigh. Check. Ethnic minority only there to provide comic relief? Cheeeeeck. Grand Finale where the boy convinces the girl that they belong together/he never should have let her go/he loved her all along in front of a nosy crowd in a park/a party/an office/any place where it can rain? CHECK! Seriously, what else is new?!

The Proposal's saving grace? The Bullock-Reynolds partnership. In this opus, the comic actress finds a male counterpart with the same mix of funny and touching. Add some decent chemistry and you've got a winning duo, in both senses of the word. In spite of all this, they still manage to get the spotlight stolen from under them. The real star of this piece is Betty White as old Grandma Annie. As the excentric, enthusiastic and sometimes machiavellian family matriarch, the veteran actress is a comedic gem. I'm sorry Ms. White, you're not allowed to die. Ever.

Finally, props to Anne Fletcher and screenwriter Peter Chiarelli for choosing the beautiful landscapes of Alaska as a setting and also for picking the most adorable Samoyed puppy to play Kevin the dog. However, I stick to my first statement made when the credits rolled : Meh.

And an extra Meh for underusing the usually extremely funny Craig T. Nelson. Meh!

Wait a minute, why am I alone? Why have I gained 30 pounds?

A movie...based on a self-help book...total recipe for disaster, right? Well, actually...

He's Just Not That Into You is a trendy and (very) light ensemble movie telling the romantic chassé-croisés of various people who are somehow all connected. Most of those individuals seem strangely familiar : Overzealous Single Girl Who's Trying Too Hard, Guy Who Doesn't Believe in Marriage, Insecure Girl Who Falls For Unavailabe Men, Nice Guy Who Keeps Pining For Said Insecure Girl Even Though She Keeps Him Around As A Safety, etc. However, they all one thing in common : when it comes to love, they're all about to discover how clueless they really here.

Like the book, He's Just That Into You doesn't bring anything new to the table. However, where the book was mostly centered on throwing (mostly) brutal truths at the reader, the movie is built on predictable intrigues with characters who are so blind about what's really going on, its almost frustrating. But then again, so is real life. How many times have you gone over every little detail of a date with friends? Or have been told by everyone that he is absolutely going to call when its so obvious that he won't? Or listenened to your friend's continuous girl problems when all you want to do is shake him and tell him to forget that manipulating bitch? Perhaps this is the basis of this movie's appeal. And even though the classic Hollywood ending (nice people are happy, naughty people are alone) brings out the mother of all eye-rolls, you can't help but feeling good about it. If only it wasn't for that moralistic voice-over at the end...but when the movie is based on a self-help book, what else could you expect?

The setting is very chic (who knew Baltimore was so trendy!), the dialogue is quasi-witty, the storyline is simple... shooting this probably felt like summer camp for the A-listers (Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Connelly, Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson, Entourage's Kevin Connolly, Big Love's Ginnifer Goodwin, etc.). But for one evening, i'll buy it. Hell, I'll even like it!

BRADLEY COOPER! STOP. PLAYING. DOUCHEBAGS! You're a nice guy at heart, I just know it!

Not you, Fat Jesus!

Oh Internet, how i love the summer and its mindless movie fun! And let me tell you, it doesn't get more mindless than Todd Phillip's The Hangover!

Doug is getting married in a few days. But before getting hitched comes the bachelor party! And so, filled with the promise of a memorable night, Doug, his friends Phil and Stu and his soon-to-be brother-in-law Alan head to the best place in the world to have a bachelor party (because everything stays there), Vegas. The following morning, the boys wake up in their Hurricane-Katrina-level-of-destroyed hotel room without a single memory of the previous night. And missing the groom. Hilarity ensues as the three trashed amigos attempt to retrace their drunken steps in hopes of finding Doug before the wedding.

The Hangover is crude, infantile, idiotic and sometimes even morally wrong....and I LOVED it! Of course, its made of the same basic elements as any Frat Pack movie : innapropriate nudity, projectile vomiting, racial stereotypes, random-but-kickass cameos (Mike Tyson!!! Mike Tyson SINGING PHIL COLLINS!!!), etc. However, the hijinks Alan, Stu and Phil get into are so outrageous, they actually manage to suprise and make you feel as if you haven't seent his movie a dozen times already (which is incredibly refreshing). One more reason to love The Hangover is because it doesn't hide what it is. Instead of feeding us some lame morality such as 'Bros before hoes' or 'Wow, my life doesn't suck that hard', Todd Phillips simply leaves it at that : one wild weekend that, once remembered, will not easily be forgotten...actually, scratch that. There is a morality to it: Stop finding the meaning in everything! Sometimes, silly jokes are just silly jokes! Except for the old man getting a prostrate exam....that was just unnecessary!

Props to Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis for looking like the most effed up guys I've ever seen. Evidently, the movie was well-titled. As Alan, Galifianakis steals the show with his underplayed, almost naive performance of the socially-akward, almost retarded loner (re: his hilarious 'Wolf pack' speech), even though some jokes felt too stupid, even for him ('Is this really Caesar's Palace? Did he live here?).

Bradley Cooper, what happened? You use to be good guy Will on Alias and look at you now? Must you always play an asshole? Come on, man! I wanna like you again!

HEATHER GRAHAM!! YOU'RE ALIIIIVE!!! You're a hooker, but you're alive!!! Hopefully, we'll see you and your cheerful airheadedness in The Hangover 2!

Wolfgang...Amadeus...Mozart

Lucky you, Internet! The first movie I'm throwing at you is the best one I can recommend, an oldie that just doesn't get old. I give you Milos Forman's Amadeus (1984).

Adapted from Peter Schaffer's play by the playwright himself, Amadeus tells the tragically ironic (and mostly fictionnal) story of italian composer Antonio Salieri (the jaw-droppingly fantastic F. Murray Abraham) whose sole purpose in life is to become a great composer. Having become Emperor Joseph II of Austria's court composer, he seems to be on his way up...that is until a kid named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart comes along. Admiration, jealousy, vengeance and madness ensue as Salieri, torn between his adoration for the musical genius' work and his growing hatred for God and his 'chosen vessel', orchestrates the fall of Mozart.

Internet, how does one begin to explain how masterful and brilliant Amadeus is? Filmed mostly in Czech Republic, which, back in the 80's, had still not been modernized, the movie is set in an environment that perfectly conveys the feel of 18th-century imperial Vienna. The costumes are exquisite, from the servant girl's simple frock to Katerina Cavalieri's over-the-top turkish hat. And the music...well, its Mozart's directed by Sir Neville Mariner, enough said. That's all fine and dandy, you'll say, but it still remains one of those curtsying, corset-wearing, carriage-riding, boring period piece, right? Wrong!!! Oh so very wrong!!!

Peter Schaffer's passionate words, Milos Forman's sober and intimate camera and one hell of a talented and energetic group of actors are at the core of Amadeus' captivating magic. From the very beginning, as the tormented shouts into the night of a now old Salieri s 'Mozart, forgive your assasin!' are intertwined with the first notes of the fiery 1st movement of Mozart's Symphony no. 25 in G minor, the plot completely sucks you in. Far from being regal and virtuous, the characters are flawed and profoundly human. Schaffer's depiction of Mozart is especially refreshing. Young Wolfgang is a musical prodigy, but he is also a vulgar, dirty-minded player who has such an excentric laugh, it will either make you laugh too or ram your head into a wall. As for Forman's directing style, it is well suited to the narrative. The story is told through flashbacks, events remembered by Old Salieri and detailed to a young visiting priest. From the packed opera house to the intimacy of Mozart's bedchamber, the scene conveyed feels intimate, personal, almost as if it came straight from Salieri's memory.

However, it is the powerhouse performances that make this movie cinematic gold. As Mozart, Tom Hulce is a ball of mischievous energy. Starting off as a self-assured and fun-loving young man, his slow descent into alcoholism and madness is frightening. As the dying Mozart attempting to compose what would become his famous requiem mass, Hulce is a genius (which consequently makes us wonder why the HELL isn't he the huge star he should be by now!!). Despite being occasionnaly two-dimensional, the supporting cast, notably Jeffrey Jones as Emperor Joseph and last-minute-remplacement-for-Meg-Tilly Elizabeth Berridge as Constanza, is very deserving of praise. But the show-stopper, the Oscar-deserver (and Oscar winner for that matter. Ha!) is F. Murray Abraham. As Salieri, this guy utterly OWNS this movie!!! With one look, he can convey jealousy AND admiration. His dignified and contained performance is very much in tune with Salieri's conflicted and passive-agressive character. As Old Salieri, Abraham is unrecognizable. Recluse, cynical and even slightly insane, he attracts both pity and awe.

Even after 25 years, Amadeus has not lost one bit of its magnificence. So...there it is!